Old Money Energy

Eccentricity, generosity, and crystal wine goblets filled to the brim

Dear Reader,

A few weekends ago, we attended my husband’s friend’s 50^th birthday party.¹ B² and his older brother have known the 50-year-old and his older brother for a long time, and they’ve all played on the same men’s league hockey team at various points over the years.

It was a lively yet intimate gathering, mostly made up of extended family, held at the older brother’s home—more accurately described as his estate, or family compound. It was a bit of a drive to get there.

When we got close, we had to be buzzed in to enter a gated community of estates—and still had a little drive before arriving at their home. We parked at the bottom of a hill, unsure of what to expect, and began the long, steep, winding walk up the driveway with our 3-year-old daughter in tow. At the top, we weren’t immediately sure where to go. We were stunned by the incredible view, overlooking a vast canyon, filled with trees and beautiful scenery.

In the enormous roundabout driveway sat a few nice cars, and about 10–12 recreational vehicles: Jeeps, ATVs, golf carts.

We walked over and rang the doorbell while taking in the elaborate Easter bunny display outside the front door. After a minute or two of hearing people inside, we let ourselves in. Another intricate Easter display greeted us in the entryway, along with a very large, expensive-looking Santa in a sleigh.

Three large dogs bounded over to welcome us, along with our friend (the older brother/owner of the property).

As we were led into the main living space, we passed a gated room just off the kitchen that was set up like a dream playroom for a child my daughter’s age: an elaborate wooden dollhouse, an antique rocking horse in perfect condition, a wooden easel, and a collection of thoughtfully chosen, non-Amazon-y toys.

The home wasn’t modern. And while it wasn’t nearly as grand (or deranged) as Saltburn³, the sweeping rooms, traditional furniture, and offbeat collections of curious objects gave it a similarly lived-in, eccentric appeal.⁴

One of the elaborate rooms in Saltburn (2023), where the family is welcoming their guest. Subsequent images from the same film.

We walked into the kitchen and adjacent large living area where we were warmly greeted by several family members, including the 78-year-old matriarch (I wouldn’t have guessed) who had created an enormous spread of food from scratch. She proceeded to walk us through all the food choices to see what we wanted to eat.

Through a sliding glass door was a patio with a stunning view and several coolers filled with alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. E⁵, always the most popular guest, was offered three options, ultimately choosing a sparkling apple cider in a glass bottle. Those watching were amused by her sophisticated taste.

B grabbed a beer, and when he mentioned I preferred wine, his friend’s mom lit up and led me to a cabinet full of crystal goblets, with a few bottles of red wine below. She told me she always drinks wine from crystal. I picked Prisoner (yum), and she filled a goblet—shaped more like a martini glass, similar to these—almost to the brim, offering a charming explanation I didn’t quite follow about how the shape of the bowl made that the right way to do it.

Rosamund Pike with a crystal goblet.

B was in conversation with his friends while E and I chatted with a cute, engaged couple in their mid-twenties sitting at a large table. Both had pretty, fresh faces and looked very So-Cal in sweats and flip flops. He had a yellow surf cap over his wild blonde hair, and her long dark brown hair was in a loose low ponytail. No makeup. I found out she was the daughter of the older brother, and the couple was currently living in a luxe motorhome setup elsewhere on the property, maybe half a mile away. They’d ridden over on mopeds.

Before we ate, the mother asked if E and I wanted to see their chickens. Down a path from the patio was a very large chicken coop (looked like this but probably 4-5 times as big) that housed 27 chickens! One had just laid an egg, and E was thrilled to pick it up (still warm) and carry it into the house, where we placed it atop an already full spiral egg holder.

Back inside, while the bigger dogs had been put away, a smaller one wandered in as we got food. I sat with the mother and chatted while eating, and E played in the enchanting playroom. The matriarch told me how she married at 22, which was considered “old” at the time. She said she already had “baby fever” by then and had her kids soon after. I told her I would’ve had more children if life had worked out differently, and how grateful I am for the one we have. I learned that she and her sons’ father had divorced a while back. He sat across the table from us, not saying much.

After eating, everyone was invited to pile into one of the many recreational vehicles for a ride down to their fishpond. B borrowed a mountain bike, while E and I hopped into one of the Jeep EVs for a fun off-road journey past the motorhome where a groundskeeper lives, and another area where one of the daughters and her fiancé live.

We arrived at a wide clearing with a large fishpond—complete with a deck, sand, and a small guest house stocked with drinks, snacks, and ice cream bars.

The older brother’s wife asked if E wanted to help feed the fish (bass, we learned), and explained how they’d reworked the water flow to create a self-contained ecosystem. She showed us where we could spot baby bass in a shallow area of the pond. E got to throw fish food in, delighted by the big splashes and tail swishes as the fish gobbled it up. The other daughter (also in her mid-twenties and also engaged) brought out live worms, which she fed to the fish barehanded. E was mesmerized. They also had a bucket of tadpoles the 50-year-old’s wife (a teacher) planned to show her class. Many people had kicked off their shoes to walk barefoot in the sand.

Soon they started setting up chairs while B and others played a game of cornhole. (I opted to watch.) B’s team won, even though he didn’t play especially well (which I can say because he’s usually good at every sport). Apparently the family plays almost daily, so the competition was stiff.

The older brother turned on the “magic” waterfall for E, and after I gave her a mini lesson in throwing fish food farther, he started skipping rocks and invited her to toss some too.

In between all this, I talked more with the mother—she told me how everyone was connected, which preschool her grandkids had gone to, little tidbits from her life. She asked about me and E, and she seemed genuinely interested in my business. She said she would switch soap and lip balm brands to mine immediately.⁶

Rosemund Pike’s character, the matriarch of the family, sitting out by the pond.

As the sun began to set, it was time to go. The older brother drove us back up in a different vehicle, and we gathered our things, said our final goodbyes, and headed home.

After E went to bed, I sat with the uniqueness of the whole experience.

I’ve always been more of a city mouse than a country mouse. The tangible elements—chickens, ecosystems, a fleet of rec vehicles, a house full of curious collectibles—aren’t necessarily my style or aspiration.

But the energy. The immediate warm welcome leading to intimate conversation. The kookiness and the eccentricity. Balancing the somewhat absurd number of things with non-preciousness and palpable generosity. The quiet confidence. Not trying to do what everyone else is doing. The uniqueness. The graciousness. Doing what you want while still serving guests, and the wider community. Not caring what other people think while still caring about other people.

It's distinctive when you encounter it because it’s so elusive.

With love,

Cher

P.S. Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates.

1. Crazy we’re at the point where we have friends turning 50.

2. My husband.

3. Do not see this movie if you haven’t already. It’s disgusting.

4. Remember Trey’s country estate on SATC?

5. My daughter.

6. New soap and lip balm launching soon…! Sign up to our email list if you’re not on it already.