Fluffy coats, Iceland, Erewhon salad, and achieving your goals by changing your identity
Little "soap bubbles" that have captured my attention recently
Dear Reader,
This issue of Soap AF is a roundup of some of the little things I’ve noticed/learned/thought about recently. I’m calling them “soap bubbles”. You might say they are little luxuries, trivial pursuits, or even deep thoughts, but they are all things that are capturing my attention in a positive way at the moment. Unlike some of the attention whores (pardon my French) we’re constantly being subjected to, e.g. TikTok1, social media in general, getting sucked into the discourse, Tr*mp & El*n, etc...2
Here they are:
Fluffy coats (and jackets in general)
Living in Southern California, I don’t have the need for a lot of winter coats the way I did when I lived in New York. But for whatever reason I’ve been very interested in jackets and coats this year. Possibly trend driven, but I’m also in the life stage where being able to easily “throw something on” has become a practical necessity. I still want to express my sense of style, and in winter sometimes a cool jacket is the perfect way to accomplish both. I wrote a little bit about transitional jackets last fall, with some options for the now ubiquitous3 (but still classic) barn/field jacket4, and have since been very into all different kinds of jackets.
During the last few months, I’ve rediscovered some of my older jackets and coats that have been hanging in the guest room closet. Ones that I’ve previously thought were too warm to wear here, but I’ve now realized are the perfect thing to throw on over a sweatshirt and jeans when out and about these winter weekends with my husband and daughter. Or when doing dropoffs at E’s school on the coldest mornings, when I may just have a t-shirt and leggings or sweats underneath. One of my most exciting rediscoveries is a long navy wool coat by Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti5 I got many years ago (this looks like the same one in gray, but the pictures don’t do it justice). I also scored a casual bright red Lands’ End jacket with navy fleece lining that used to be my husband’s, when we were visiting his parents’ house over the holidays (here’s the same vintage one I have, and here’s the new version), as well as an amaaaazing black fancy cropped boxy vintage jacket with big buttons and real fur collar that used to be my mother-in-law’s6. It reminds me of Marc Jacobs’ 60s-inspired collection last year, or even Alessandro Michele’s Valentino (it has the same shape as this one). Neither of these vintage jackets that I acquired are things I probably would have thought to seek out even a year ago, but they have entered my consciousness at just the right time.
Leandra just wrote about how “the coats are getting freaky” (referencing all of the distinctive coats she’s been seeing on the streets of NY lately), but before that, these pictures of
in her latest note caught my attention:
Then I saw
wearing this:
I don’t even think she mentioned the coat in her note but was talking about the hat instead7. (I’ve always loved the idea of hats but they don’t usually work for me in practice. Maybe it’s because I come from a long line of big heads.)
And then! I opened Phoebe’s latest drop email, showing this gorg hero image:
All of a sudden these cream-colored fluffy coats are everywhere!
If you agree that having a big fluffy coat like this looks quite appealing, but don’t want to drop $11k on the Phoebe Philo one (blurg8), I found a few great options below that are still in stock as of now:
Iceland
As evidenced by my fluffy coats rant, one of my gifts (or maybe everyone has it?) is pattern recognition. Like noticing how suddenly seemingly every New Yorker and fashion person cannot survive this winter without a “balaclava” and making sure they are calling it a “balaclava” (and not just a head covering or some more banal term).
Other than having a vague notion of maybe seeing the Northern Lights someday, I haven’t given Iceland much thought in the past. But I heard the new president of Iceland being interviewed on Adam Grant’s podcast somewhat recently (the episode is titled “Befriending your impostor syndrome”, which is something I’m working on) and thought she sounded so lovely. Then Kaitlin Phillips just issued “A short guide to the Icelandic Literary Scene—for tourists” and mentioned that Iceland apparently has more published authors per capita than any other country. The fact that Iceland has become such a travel destination for readers is something I was not aware of until now—interesting!
Erewhon salad
My public-facing instagram for years has been @forkandmelon, which is the name of my soap brand. I have always managed the account myself, possibly to its detriment as I’m not great about posting, but at least you know if you see something on there you know it’s me! Let’s keep things personal :) Anyway, I’ve tried to be somewhat strategic about which accounts I’m following there, and therefore what ends up coming up in my feed. I’ve more recently started a new instagram account specifically for this newsletter, and haven’t followed anyone yet, so it’s more of a surprise to see what will show up as the top post. Just recently I was served a video of someone making this delicious white bean salad and it looked so good and easy that I made it this past week. True confession, they didn’t have hemp seeds at the store when we went, so I just did pumpkin seeds, and I didn’t even bother making the full dressing it calls for and instead just squeezed a few lemons on top followed by some olive oil and a little sea salt. I also added a few pieces of shredded chicken that we had on-hand. So good! Here is the full recipe.
Achieving your goals by changing your identity
This is a concept I’ve become more aware of in the last year or two and think it’s interesting and helpful—and since we’re still within the first month of the new year, when goal setting is most prevalent, I thought it relevant to share. “Changing your identity” doesn’t mean changing into someone you aren’t, but rather, getting more in tune with the real person you authentically are, and who you believe yourself to be. For example, if at your core you don’t see yourself as a sporty person, it’s going to be extremely difficult for you to muster the dedication and motivation required to run a marathon. If you don’t see yourself as a “corporate type”, it will be hard for you to continue climbing that corporate ladder. If you see yourself as someone who is stylish and “well-put-together”, you’ll find a way to achieve that persona, no matter what outside circumstances enter in. The first step is to figure out whether the goal you’ve set for yourself is truly “aligned” for you or not. If it is, but you’re having trouble, it may be a matter of letting yourself embrace the identity of that thing, and letting go of your limiting beliefs, that will allow you to get there.
I could expand on this (many already have), but for now I’ll keep it to a little “bubble” as something to ponder.
With love xoxo,
Cher
I recently posted on Threads about how I never joined TikTok and never plan to, and also never plan to enable text marketing in my business.
The constant barrage of horrific headlines as attention diversion deserves a more nuanced response. That is not what I’m writing about today.
If you’re a fashion person.
Apparently it was announced last fall that Philosophy is being merged into the Alberta Ferretti brand to strengthen both of their positions. RIP Philosophy!
We didn’t have enough room left in the packed car (Christmas gifts, etc.) to bring the vintage fur jacket home, so I don’t have a picture to share yet. Husband is going back there for mountain bike race in a couple weeks and will bring it back then!
This is the word I use in place of one of my favorite emojis: the sideways-leaning-cross-eyed-face-with-tongue-hanging-out.